From the article: Effective Discipline Ideas for Teenagers: Grounding
As children become teenagers, sometimes we start to find some discipline challenges as fathers. Some of our techniques from their childhood don't work as well anymore and they tend to want more independence from a father's influence. What techniques or approaches have worked best for you with your teenagers, or what did your parents do that worked for you when you were a teen? Share your ideas, advice and thoughts with parents of teenagers. Share your advice
S.O.S
- My son has just turned 13. He has being lying where hes going, talking back and jumps out his window to go to his mates when I send him to his room. Basically he's got no respect for me and is constantly at war with me. I've got 2 other toddlers also and I'm at my wit's end and seriously considering sending him to live with his grand parents. I don't really want to but they suggest it will be good for him. It's making me really depressed and I'm starting to resent him for making me worry about him all the time. I give him everything he wants but he just treats me like dirt. Any ideas people before I check myself into the nut house with a nervous break down.......
- —Guest freakdowtmom
A teen myself
- I am a teen myself and adults always tell me if something bad happens "It in the past get over it!" But if I do something they don't like, they hold over me for weeks sometimes months. I don't like how they are hypocrites like that! It makes me madder when I do get grounded!
- —Guest Anouminous
From a Teen's Perspective
- To make grounding effective, it needs to be very carefully employed. There are so many ways for parents to get it wrong and it end up doing more damage than good. The best point made in this article was only punish using social activities if what the teen is being punished for was done socially; if they were speeding and got a ticket while alone in the car, take the car away- not the friends. Friends can be especially valuable to a teenager that may be dealing with school stresses, social anxiety, or trouble adapting to home life (moving, divorce, etc.) by being a place where the teenager can escape their stresses. Home emphasis on choosing the right friends should be stressed. And I completely agree with choosing the appropriate length of punishment- too often was I grounded for an extended period of time and it put me and my father on bad terms. The key is showing that the punishment is to help correct a problem, not create a new one. Try to help before resorting to it.
- —Guest SBP
Discipline in love
- When I discipline I make certain it is done in love and not in anger. I spank my children but never in anger. I spank them when I deem a spanking is appropriate. My dad modeled to me how this is done with love. I honestly cannot recall being overly upset with my father for spanking me. Actually all my siblings at some point thanked him for it. Even my step-brother. We felt it shaped us to be responsible young men and to know there are consequences for our actions with some being a little more stiffer than others. I worked with youth for many years and I got to see first hand what they are like when loving but stiff discipline was withheld. If done with love I believe spanking is not only effective but necessary.
- —Guest David
You need to read this!
- I love you, but this is something that I have addressed to you for a very long time, and I think it is time for us to review our technique. It's very important to me
- —Guest Fred
Bad behavior
- I live with my grandparents and up to the point I was 6 when I cried I get hit with a flyswatter now to this day I cannot share my feelings When they would yell I'd get scared and cry which just gets them mad and start yelling Most of the time it's just a confusion between both sides but if I try to explain it they get angry I'm a brat yes, but they often say things that makes me feel every argument is my fault, whenever in feel bad and try to tell them I'm lonely they just tell me not to think about i They used to not want me at all which destroyed me... And they used to slap me abside the head during arguments saying "we don't have to deal with this" They are very loving people but whenever I try to fix things I Judy make it worst, for me and them. I still have a lot of emotional issues (I am 13 though so it's probably super normal) but don't do it to your kids it's just gonna make it worst
- —Guest Random chick
stick to the punishment
- It is very important for parents to stick to the punishments they impose in order to be effective. Grounding can be a very effective punishment for teenagers, but is so often misused. Growing up, my Dad's form of discipline was never effective - he would yell, tell me I was grounded for an absurd period of time, and never follow through with it. My Mom on the other hand would only ground me for maybe a day or a weekend at a time. But when she punished me, she followed through to the end. If Mom said I was grounded for the weekend, I knew that meant I would be spending that whole weekend in my room, no exceptions!
- —Guest JB
teens and grounding
- I like the idea of a child who cares about privileges and possibility of earning what was lost.
- —Guest T
