Had Jean (not her real name) studied the research on pornography addiction, she would have recognized the warning signs. My guess is that her husband, had he known and seen the warning signs in himself, would have stopped the downward spiral before it was too late.
As I look around me, and visit with marriage and family therapy professionals, it is clear to me that addiction to sex and pornography are having a huge negative impact on families and relationships.
Are You Addicted?
If you are wondering if porn or sex have taken over your life, honestly answer the following questions, adapted from the Fires of Darkness Web site:
- Do you act out sexually despite serious consequences and repeated attempts at control?
- Do you feel unable to stop looking at porn or acting out sexually, despite adverse consequences, with frequent use of denial, rationalization, and minimization to hide both the problem and the underlying shame?
- Do you neglect or sacrifice of important social, family, occupational, or recreational activities because of sexual behavior?
- Do you have an ongoing desire or effort to limit sexual behavior?
- Do you spend an inordinate amount of time obtaining sex, being sexual, or recovering from sexual experience?
- Do you find yourself taking risks to satisfy your desire for sex or porn?
- Do you feel that you are living a double life?
- Have you felt a decrease in your spiritual or religious life?
- Do you experience constant violation of your value system and the resultant feelings of shame or failure?
- Have you endangered your professional and family life as a result of your desire and acting out?
