Review of An Intimate Understanding of America's Teenagers

For 34 years, Bruce Gevirtzman has been a high school teacher and coach and has worked with hundreds (maybe thousands) of teens over that time. By sharing the stories of some of those teenagers, and his interactions with them, Gevirtzman offers insights into "what makes them tick." He writes about their concerns about life, growing up, and connecting with friends, siblings and parents.

The subtitle of An Intimate Understanding of America's Teenagers is "Shaking Hands with Aliens." As I read the book, I came to better understand Gevirtzman's unorthodox subtitle. Teenagers do not seem to some of us to be part of the same world. Their interests, expressions, daily concerns and relationship models are very foreign to adults. And because the world and popular culture keep changing, many facets of being a teenager change as well. But Gevirtzman's point is that just because parents and teachers often have a hard time relating to the teens they love, it doesn't mean that the effort to connect to them isn't worth the trouble.

One chord that was struck with me was the concern about teens today largely raising themselves. So many families today are single-parent families or have two parents that both work and have other demands on their time. An Intimate Understanding is in many ways a call to arms for parents, teachers and leaders to take a more active role in the lives of their teens.

From gangs and sex and drugs to education and sports, Bruce Gevirtzman tackles all the important issues facing teens today. He speaks very directly about the important role adults need to play in helping teens survive the teenage years and prepare for adulthood.

One of the things I liked most about this book is the humor. Having raised five teenagers and having spent many years involved in Scouting, I could relate to the funny stories about the many teens the author has known. From the false arrogance of student athletes (which often masks insecurity in other areas of life) to stories about love, lust and angst, Gevirtzman reminds us of the real humanity of these "alien" teenagers. I could see much of my children, their friends and my Boy Scouts in the anecdotes of the lives of these young people.

In short, An Intimate Understanding of America's Teenagers is an absolute must-read for anyone who parents, leads, teaches or works with young people. The warmth, humor and straight talk approach taken by Bruce Gevirtzman is engaging and makes you want to read more. While some of his observation and experience might make some a little squeamish, they are true to life and important for adults to hear. I came away from An Intimate Understanding of America's Teenagers with a renewed appreciation for the challenges teenagers face, a real sense of gratitude for parents and teachers who support them, and a desire to do more with the teens in my sphere of influence to keep the lines of communication open and trust levels high. I suspect any thoughtful reader will feel the same.