I have had a chance to catch up on some reading over the last couple of weeks and just finished a book that changed the way I look at parenting. The book is called Crystoppers - A Play by Play Guide for Wise Parenting written by Aaron Kaweblum who is a board certified pediatrician and keen observer of parenting.
Dr. Kaweblum's concept here is that many parents have abdicated their traditional parental role and have just become "crystoppers." Whatever it takes to get the kid to quit crying and whining becomes the prime directive. And that can even extend to the teenage years when whatever will make the child happy (or at least stop whining) is what a parent does. Dr. Kaweblum suggests that such behavior is at the base of poor sleep habits, childhood obesity, parent abuse and inappropriate behavior patterns.
His prescription is:
- If something is bad for your child, don't do it, no matter what the objection.
- If something is good for your child, do it, even if the children resist.
- Never say "I will try" when it comes to the good of your children; just do it.
I took the time to write a summary and review of Crystoppers and I hope you will take the time to read my thoughts and then order this book. You may well see yourself in the pages and after having that revelation, Dr. Kaweblum offers some very practical approaches to getting away from the Crytstopper approach and becoming a more active and focused father.