Years ago, when I purchased my very first Franklin Day Planner, the instruction manual urged me to create a personal mission statement. After all, corporations and organizations of all types that get involved in strategic planning start with developing a mission statement. So at the time I thought long and hard about what my mission was in life. What should I be doing with the precious resources like my time, my talents and my mind to achieve my mission? What was my life's work and how would I achieve my potential.
It was a great exercise, and for years I have appreciated the process involved in coming to understand and embrace my personal mission. I even get it out generally every year or so and decide if it is still my mission, and I have taken the chance to tweak it regularly.
But recently, I heard about a different approach and one that I have really embraced. The concept is one that is taught by a life coach from Take Flight Coaching about having a personal purpose statement.
A personal purpose statement is all about identifying why you exist, what you bring to the people around you and what brings personal meaning and fulfillment to you as an individual. For fathers, a personal purpose statement will help clarify how the various components of your life fit together and what you bring to life's table for your family, your career, your community and yourself. The idea of coming to understand your purpose in life and how that relates to your various roles is critical in achieving work-life balance. In my mind, it is the first step in a long journey to better balance.
As I worked on my personal purpose statement, I found some subtle differences between a mission statement and a purpose statement. At least for me, my mission statement was about what I hope to accomplish in life. It drives my personal goals and many of the choices I make. If I consider doing something or taking a big step in my life, I compare that choice to my personal mission statement. If it gets me closer to my goals and fulfills my mission, I know I can jump in that direction. And if not, then I look for a better choice that gets me closer to my goals.
But a personal purpose statement defines for me what it is I have to give - my talents, skills and attitudes. And it also defines for me what is most important in my life and helps me prioritize my time and energies. It for me was a deeper and more introspective experience to define my personal purpose.
So, if you are a dad who wants better work-life balance, you should prepare your own personal purpose statement. As you embark on this journey, it's important to know how to take the first steps. After thinking a lot about my purpose in life, I took these steps to get my purpose statement drafted.
Introspection. I took some time after a good night's sleep and headed off to a local park that is quiet and has a river nearby. I sat at a picnic table with my journal and tried to write down every personal attribute that I could. What is good about me? What gifts have I been given? What talents have I developed? How are others benefitted when they are with me? What do I bring that is unique and positive to my wife, my children, my employer, my co-workers, and my friends? I kept that list in my journal and then set out to see how valid my perceptions were.
Talk to others. I then selected a few close friends and family members and asked them to think for a few minutes and write down a list for me of the unique things that they think I bring to life. Kind of like I did several years ago when I needed to do a 360 degree review at work, I asked if they would just jot down the 5-10 things that they enjoy about me and that I add in a positive way to their lives. I decided not to ask them to mention things I could improve - maybe that will come later. But I wanted to know how they perceived me.
Compare and consolidate. Then I took my list and the compilation of their lists and looked for commonalities. It was interesting to me to see the areas where we saw the same things; they were actually pretty well aligned. Then I tried to find a single common theme that seemed to encompass all of these ideas - kind of a higher statement.
Draft. Once I had found the common element, I tried to generally encapsulate all of these concepts into a short statement. I wanted it to be short enough to remember (shorter than my mission statement) but also pretty comprehensive.
How it is working. Once I got a final draft purpose statement, I held it up next to my weekly calendar and tried to evaluate whether or not I was living to my purpose. I found some areas of discord that need some work, and I am trying in my weekly planning to be more on purpose. As I interact with my wife and children, I try to make sure that I am using my unique talents, skills and attitudes to bless their lives. Even when I am doing something as mundane as fixing the sprinklers in the back yard, I try to assess whether I am doing it to help achieve my purpose or not, and how I could do it differently if I was living to my purpose. Is it about having a yard that people will compliment me about or is it about having a positive environment for my family? So I find myself questioning my motives more and asking critical questions.
Drafting my personal purpose statement has been one of the best things I have done to bring myself to greater work-life balance and personal peace. I can recommend the process to any father who finds himself being out of balance and feeling frustrated with the demands of the world and of time. Prepare your own purpose statement and see if you don't find yourself better aligning with your personal values and your family's needs.
