Consider a Big Project. Author and Clinical Psychologist Ruth Peters suggests that you plan on a big project that can be started during the summer visit and finished after they return home to make even more of the time you have together. This can something as simple as reading a good novel together, or it may involve a craft or an art project, or making a scrapbook. But having something for them to finish at home will help them feel connected to you longer, and give you something else to talk about on future visits.
The Kids Come First. This advice is especially important if you have a girlfriend or a new wife. Summer visitation is about you and your children. As much as you might be tempted, or as much as you might rationalize the need for her to have a good relationship with your kids, don't pass the kids off to your girlfriend or wife. You can involve her occasionally during the visit, but the visit is to build and strengthen your relationship with them. After all, they were your kids before she was your honey.
Keep in Contact with Mom. This can be a hard piece of advice, particularly if your relationship with their mom is not good, but it is important to let them stay in touch. One friend I know likens this summer visitation to being on a raft out on a lake. It is fun to be swimming out in the open water, but from time to time, you need to check back with those on the raft to whom you tend to look for security. The kids will need to touch base with mom from time to time during the visit. Encourage them to call, e-mail or write to her. If you are unselfish about their contact with her, they will respect and respond to that feeling.
Most of all, a little sensitive thought and planning will make a world of difference in the quality of your summer visit. Making it a positive experience will be an effort well worth making, and will contribute greatly to the quality of your long-term relationship with your children.
