- Focus on Common Themes.Instead of focusing on what makes the holidays so different, choose to focus on similarities. All religious and cultural holidays have some element of peace, harmony, and reconciliation. While honoring the differences and not ignoring them, choose to emphasize the common values and how they relate to your family. Actually, there may be more in common than you think.
- Decide early how to celebrate. This is not a decision best left to the emotion of the moment. Making room for both holidays, physically and emotionally, takes a fair amount of coordination. Plan with a calendar so you are not subject to conflicts. If a conflict arises, talk about it. Assume nothing and you will get along much better.
- Seek for balance. Some families take the approach that Christmas is Mom's holiday and Kwanzaa is Dad's holiday, and we honor both. We honor them because we love both parents. Take the kids to celebrations of both holidays. Have fun with Santa, but don't miss the connection to the children's roots afforded by a Kwanzaa celebration.
- Look for and emphasize the secular traditions of the holidays.Baking goodies isn't Christmas only; sending holiday greetings to friends is a multicultural tradition. Make sure you do those to promote family unity. And look for opportunities for service in the community. Maybe helping serve Christmas dinner at the homeless shelter or giving a gift to a child whose name is on the "Angel Tree" at the mall would be a good way to honor any holiday.
- Avoid being competitive. I have seen some interfaith families play the game of celebrating Christmas when Dad is off to work and doing Hanukkah when he is home and seeing which is more fun for the kids. Honor your commitment to coordination and respect the common wishes of both parents, even in their absence.
More about celebrating holidays in an interfaith family.
