We finally met him and from the first day he lied about so many things. For example he lied about our blood tests- he said it was required for the maintenance payments. however the real story is that he thought my mum was sleeping around and we weren't his kids. In reality he did it so he wouldn't have to pay for us. The blood tests proved that we were his kids. From the first day in meeting him he asked me if I want this relationship and I told him "of course, I wouldn't be here if I didn't". This signified to me that he wasn't keen on this relationship, as if it didn't matter to him whether we're in it or not.
For a whole year I kept having big arguments with him and tried on many occasions to break this up because I was too depressed (i lost a couple of kilos from this). But each time I tried I couldnt because of my deep love for him. He has told me straight to my face that he didn't want us in the beginning but our mum was adamant.
Just a background check so you know a little about the past. My dad was married before and had 2 daughters; however his first wife got suspicious of him and called a private eye and found out that he was womanizing. She wanted a divorce from him and during that time while they were separated he met my mum.
Now he lives off somebody else with lots of money and has been living comfortably for 15 years with her. His ideal wife was someone who would sit in the corner, be quiet and everything would be fine. That's why he split from my mum because she wouldn't let him treat her that way. But he has found his ideal woman now with deep pockets and one that lets him ride over her. He also treats us that way and I hate it because we deserve more respect.
I have had so many arguments with him and my main issue is the fact that I don't feel wanted and that I don't have a purpose in this relationship. I have kept asking him many times why did he come back now? Why does he want us now when he didn't want us back then. He can't support us because he lives off someone else so what can he do for us, and what can we do for him? We are 19 now and have our own lives what can we offer him? I have lost my whole childhood with him and that hurts so much, but he can't give me an answer of what does he want with us; I have asked him all these questions and he says he doesnt have an answer.
I believe that he does feel a lot of guilt and shame for what he did to us all these years but he doesn't show it. He blames my mum for everything wrong in his life. I feel that the anger he has against my mum prevents him from really loving us.
