The rise of violent crimes being committed by children devastates both families and communities alike. When a crime occurs, the number one question on everyone's mind is "why": Why are children committing violent acts against their families, friends and strangers? The answer to that question makes perfect sense when you understand that current childcare practices violate children's rights because they are based on authoritarian behaviors that are emotionally and physically abusive. Children are rebelling against this unjust system with the same behaviors used against them - emotional and physical violence.

What are authoritarian behaviors? They are behaviors that manipulate and control through pain and humiliation. They include blaming, shaming, preaching, moralizing, accusing, ridiculing, belittling, evaluating, labeling, threatening, judging and punishing. These behaviors disrespect children's rights and "discourage" children, resulting in not only a loss of courage, but also a loss of dignity and self-respect.

It is more evident every day that our children are in crisis. Increased delinquency, depression and even bulimia were linked with parental verbal aggressiveness in a study by Sociologist Murry A. Straus, with the Family Research Lab at the University of New Hampshire (along with dozens of other studies). More than half of the 991 parents in Dr Straus' study screamed, yelled or shouted in rage at their infants. Since children model the behaviors they are raised with, is it any wonder they resort to violence as they grow older?

Unfortunately, authoritarian practices are deeply rooted in our society. For example, more than half of the US states still allow corporal punishment in the schools. In Webster's New World dictionary, corporal punishment means "beating, with a strap, stick, or whip, inflicted directly on the body." Corporal punishment manipulates and controls children through the use of fear - fear of pain and humiliation. (Is it so surprising that some children hate school?)

By changing our childcare practices we can put an end to both child abuse and childhood violence. The best way to start is to eliminate authoritarian behaviors and replace them with friendly communication skills that establish guidelines for responsible behaviors. The following three principles teach respectful discipline and encourage a child's healthy emotional development.

Equality and Order

Authoritarian socialization requires unquestioning obedience to authority rather than individual freedom of judgment and action. In an authoritarian society there is a dominant/submissive relationship that exists between adults and children. The adults are "the boss" and children "must obey" the rules without exception. There's no equality whatsoever. Even though children are not equal with adults in knowledge and experience, they are our social equals and are entitled to equal rights within our community. The principles of social equality include the right to honor, dignity, health, safety, and social integration. In short, children do have rights, too. Children rebel against authoritarian behaviors very early in life. Parents recognize this resistance around the age of two, referring to it as "the terrible two's." Around this age children also develop temper tantrums and power struggles. These behaviors usually indicate that adults are using too much force and manipulation during discipline. Unfortunately, as the rebellion continues, some adults view it as a need for more control.

Children are, by nature, spontaneous and are in the process of learning to control themselves. They need discipline, meaning the development of responsibilities, self-control and order kept, not aggressive behaviors like blaming, yelling, or hitting. Order is a necessary part of freedom and equality. Rather than using aggressive acts against children we can model self-control and give them an orderly environment so they can learn the same. Order gives children a sense of security, which will in turn help to reduce or eliminate their outbursts and tantrums.