Do be positive and upbeat. Many divorced dads tend to spend dates dwelling on the negatives of their lives. You don’t want to be a downer for your date. Pick some interesting activities for dates—not just dinner and dancing. Consider golf, stage plays, a board game night, and so forth.
Don’t dwell on your ex-spouse. This is one of the most common faux pas committed by divorced dads. Even if your date asks, don’t go there. You need to look forward, not back, and it is an easy way to destroy an otherwise positive evening.
Do take it slow. No matter how much you miss sex or physical affection, commit yourself to no one night stands and to developing friendships first. It is important for you, and for your children, that you start the dating process slowly and that you don’t have overnight visitors.
Don’t get competitive with your ex-spouse. Your ex may already be dating. She might even be ready to remarry. But don’t let her readiness determine yours. You need to start when you are ready, not when she is.
Don’t get serious on the rebound. All of us probably know men who have gotten married, engaged or had a live in lover on the rebound after a divorce. It is a natural thing to want to put your affection somewhere, but it’s important to watch out for the rebound process. Just knowing it’s likely to occur makes it easier to resist.
Don’t be afraid of rejection. Let’s face it—you will have to date lots of women before you find another long term partner. And that means that you will reject some, and some will reject you. If you are afraid of failing, it will be harder for you to try and keep trying. If you get rejected, take it in stride. Understand that it is part of the process.
