It is Saturday morning. Twelve-year-old Christine and her mother are engaged in their weekly battle. Mother yells, "This room looks like a pigsty." Christine sticks to her guns and maintains, "My room is clean. I just cleaned it."

Oddly enough, it has never occurred to Christine's mother that all this arguing is not resolving the problem. Fortunately it is called behavior contracting.

What is Behavior Contracting?

Behavior contracting is an aspect of parenting that is based on the premise that rewards and praise are more likely than punishment to encourage desirable behavior. Some parents tend to use behavior contracting as a way of disciplining a child. But EAP counsellor Eva Sansom believes that its goal is not to discipline - it is to teach responsibility.

"In its simplest form, a behavior contract is an oral contract between a child and a parent," says Sansom. For instance, a father might say to three-year-old Tommy, "Help Dad put the toys away and then you can have a cookie." Or, he might reward Tommy with praise for doing the task well. It is important, however, to praise specific behavior rather than just saying, "You're a good boy."

"A written contract can be used when a child is old enough to understand what a contract is all about," says Sansom. However, it should not be used for every little difficulty that comes along. Reserve a written contract for a situation where an oral contract has not worked. It is especially helpful when a disagreement with a teenager has resulted in a deadlock. Let us find out more about these written contracts.

Benefits of a behavior Contract What is noteworthy about the following benefits is that they benefit both child and parent:

• Helps both parties to be more objective by focusing their thinking on the goal rather than on their feelings.
• Allows children to feel that they have some say in their lives and, therefore, reduces the power struggle between parent and child.
• Leaves less room for misunderstanding and procrastination because the facts are in black and white.
• Provides parent and child with a sense of accomplishment, because it is a goal-centered approach.
• Encourages mutual respect by expecting both parties to honour the terms of the contract.