Affair Proofing Your Marriage

If you have experienced infidelity in your marriage, the good news is it can survive and be stronger than before. The bad news is, it will take time for the wounds of betrayal to heal and both parties must be willing to work together to move the marriage forward.

Dr. Glass recommends the following to couples working through infidelity:

The first step is to stop the affair. The person who has been betrayed cannot begin to heal until the affair is finished.

Second, the person who had the affair has to agree to be accountable and create a safe and open environment by letting their partner know where they are. You must replace deception with honesty.

Thirdly, because trust has been violated, the story of the affair has to be told. The only way to tear down the wall of deception is to have an open window - no secrets. Usually, partners will want all of the details. They will need to put all of the missing pieces together and ask questions. The partner who had the affair must be patient and willing to share information understanding that this is one way to rebuild intimacy.

Fourth, figure out where vulnerabilities are in your relationship and begin to work on them.

Fifth, discuss what being faithful and committed in your marriage means to you. Just because a relationship is not sexual does not mean you are not having an emotional affair.

Finally, understand that this is a very difficult process and you may need to seek the help of a professional to work through your issues.

Eric was able to take a situation that had the potential to harm his marriage and turn it into one that fostered more open communication and trust with his spouse. It is the window of openness and the sharing of uncomfortable situations that actually build a marriage up rather than tear it down.