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Wayne's Fatherhood Blog

By Wayne Parker, About.com Guide to Fatherhood since 2002

Moms and Dads Sharing the Load More

Wednesday November 11, 2009

My, how times have changed.  Some recent statistics released by California First Lady Maria Shriver and  the Center for American Progress document how much they have changed.  In 1975, the only employed member of families was the father in 44.7 percent of families.  In 31.1% of families, both parents worked.  And at that point in time, only 3% of families with married couples had only the wife working.

Today, only 20.7% of families have only the father working; 43.5% of families have both spouses working, and now 3.8% of married couples have only the wife working.

I can remember a few years ago when I was working with former Utah Governor Mike Leavitt, his staff had done some research on families in Utah.  His family model, which was the traditional one (married couple with multiple children and only the husband employed) constituted less than 20% of Utah households.

One of the conclusions of the Shriver report is that not only are couples sharing in providing income for the family, but they are sharing in other family duties as well.  Read more about this new report on the changing role of fathers and see how your family situation stacks up with the statistics.


Father and Son Deploy Together

Tuesday November 10, 2009

Father and Son Serving Together in Iraq

This story was so impressive to me.  Two men with the same  names, PFC Alonzo Branch Jr. and Sergeant Alonzo Branch, are serving in the Army at Camp Taji in Iraq. In this case, they are related - father and son.  They share a bond not only through their family relationship but also in their military service  Read the article about these two incredible soldiers and the opportunity they have to serve together in Iraq.

Photo courtesy of Dvidshub.com. All rights reserved.

Need Help With Teaching Manners?

Sunday November 8, 2009

With the holidays fast approaching (can it be that time of year already?), you may be getting nervous about the behavior of your kids around the big crowds. Are the manners of your children in social settings embarrassing to you? Find out the best ways to teach them the whys and hows of well mannered and respectful behavior.

A Father's Guide to Managing Stress at Home

Thursday November 5, 2009

Stress can be a father's worst enemy at home. So often, not handling stress well leads to anger, impatience and sometimes other regrettable behaviors. I have seen this trend time and time again in my own fathering and in working with families in crisis. This article presents some ideas and thoughts about stress and how to make home and family time less stressful.

Get Net Wise with Social Networking Sites

Tuesday November 3, 2009

My 22 year old daughter is a big Facebook fan. We moved during her junior year in high school, and she has reconnected with many of the friends from her old high school and community through Facebook. But the privacy challenges associated with social networking sites like Facebook, MySpace and Twitter can be a little overwhelming for the novice. The folks at GetNetWise.org have created some video tutorials that can help clueless parents like me set security and privacy options on these three services. This, with a lot of other information about protecting kids online can be found at their site.

Also, dad, if you want to get into social networking on your own, check out our list of the top social networking sites for fathers.  And get connected.


Expectations - High or Low?

Sunday November 1, 2009

One of the big debates I hear among fathers (and mothers, for that matter), is whether to have high expectations for our children that are difficult to meet, or set lower expectations so they can feel successful when they meet them. There are certainly good arguments on both sides, but on balance, I tend to find myself in the "stretching to meet high expectations" camp.

So, I wrote this article on setting appropriately high expectations for children.  And I'd appreciate any input on the concept of helping our children achieve high expectations rather than shooting lower to assure success.

One Thing You Should Definitely Do This Halloween

Friday October 30, 2009
PumpkinsScary stories are a staple of Halloween activities for many families. After the trick or treating is over, sit together in a dimly lit room, maybe with a jack o'lantern providing the only light and tell a great ghost story. You can find some spooky ghost stories at Halloween Online. About.com's Urban Legends Guide David Emery has also compiled a list of the scariest urban legends. And to make the story even better, check out my guide to great storytelling. And make it a memorable night for your kids.

Why Children Who Live Without Dads Have Earlier Sex

Friday October 30, 2009

Researchers have known for years that children raised without a dad at home tend to start having sex at a younger age than those that do. I guess it was assumed that the factors were environmental - that kids saw their single mom dating so they started dating earlier and things like that. But a new study from researchers at six major U.S. universities have called that assumption into question. This new study argues that earlier sex is best explained by genetics, and the same genetic disposition that leads to earlier sex also creates problems for men in marriages.

This seems just a little counter intuitive to me. The challenges in any family without a father present are far-reaching and the results of absentee fathers' leaving their families cross many behavioral spectra. In any case, the research is interesting, but I am not yet convinced that genetics plays the dominant role in children having sex sooner. A responsible, committed father makes a good difference in so many areas.

Choosing a Guardian for Your Children

Friday October 23, 2009

We read almost every day about a dad who dies unexpectedly. This week in our community a young father was killed in a single engine plane crash just short of the runway. It is always good to prepare for the unthinkable. Choosing a guardian for your children is one of the most important decisions a father can make. What should a father consider when choosing a guardian for his children?

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs and Father-Son Relationships

Wednesday October 21, 2009

Cloudy with a Chance of MeatballsI have heard lots of comments from friends lately about the movie Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, which is based on a wonderful children's book of the same name.  In the movie, young Flint Lockwood, a hapless inventor, creates a circumstance where in his town, it rains food.  Flint's father, Tim, is the ultimate technophobe, who just wants Flint to join the famiy's bait shop business.  Tim and Flint live in very different worlds, and while they certainly love and have affection for one another, they just can't seem to communicate.  Tim uses fishing analogies for everything he tries to teach Flint, but they don't stick because there is no shared context.

Communicating with your children takes a lot of effort, and finding common shared experiences is a good way to make the communication connection.

Another scene in the movie I liked was the story told by Grandpa using an object in the room (don't want to be a spoiler, here).  Great storytelling is an important skill for fathers and grandfathers in building memorable moments with the kids.

Take your kids to see Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs and see if you can find some lessons that will make you a better parent.

Find a trailer and a review of Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs at the About.com Movies site.
Read Elizabeth Kennedy's review of the book

Picture courtesy of Sony Pictures Animation.  All rights reserved.

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