Fatherhood

The Wall Street Journal's Susan Gregory Thomas offered this interesting finding:

Even as men have made great strides as fathers, however, they can find themselves rudderless as spouses. "We're getting a new cultural script for a 'new dad' but not for a 'new husband,' " says W. Bradford Wilcox, director of the University of Virginia's National Marriage Project. "That married people with children now often refer to themselves as a 'stay-at-home mom' or 'stay-at-home dad' instead of as 'wife' or 'husband' signals that we now prioritize parenthood over marriage itself."

Based on this research, she postulates:

As men try to be better dads, they are running into the familiar difficulty of balancing kids, career and marriage--a problem that women have been trying to manage since the 1970s. With men as with women, it is marriage itself that often gets short shrift.

Do you think there is truth to this argument?  Are men who are committed fathers less committed spouses?  I suspect such dads do struggle some with work-life balance, just as moms often do.  But does that make us lesser husbands?

More thoughts on work-life balance:

• Six Steps to Better Work-Life Balance
• Simplifying Your Life
• Signs that Your Work-Life Balance is Out of Balance

Image courtesy of Getty Images

Follow me on Twitter | Join my LinkedIn Group |Connect with me on Facebook

Every now and again I hear from a new dad who has questions about breastfeeding.  It is a pretty common question that new dads have to face, and even if he has read a lot about the process, it is a brand new experience as his partner breastfeeds for the first time.

There are lots of things a dad can do to make the breastfeeding experience more successful for a new mom and baby.  Lots of encouragement and patience is where it begins, but that effort can extend to helping mom sleep enough and eat right, finding opportunities to bond with the baby and doing everything possible to help mom through some of the challenges.

While this list of ways dads can be supportive of their breastfeeding partners and babies should help dads get into the process, it is far from exhaustive.  The best thing a dad can do is to stay tuned into the needs of the baby and mom and work to make life a bit easier for them as they learn the ropes of breastfeeding.

More helps for new and expectant dads:

• From DINK to Dad--Making the Transition to Fatherhood
• Bonding with the New Baby
• Create a Birth Plan for Mother and Father

Image courtesy of Getty Images / Riser

Follow me on Twitter | Join my LinkedIn Group |Connect with me on Facebook

The parenting world is all abuzz about the most recent issue of Time Magazine.  It is partly about the article on attachment parenting but mostly about the cover which features a toddler standing up, nursing at his mother's breast, with the evocative title, "Are You Mom Enough?"

Attachment parenting is all about staying physically and emotionally close to your children, particularly for mothers.  The Time article talks about the pros and cons of attachment parenting, quoting a variety of parenting experts and parents who have been practicing attachment parenting for many years.  One element of attachment parenting (one among many) relates to the importance of breastfeeding as an emotionally and physically healthy feeding approach.  But there are many other elements that also have positive implications.

There are many parenting styles out there, and each family should explore their options and find elements of the many styles that work best for their families and children.  Attachment parenting has a lot of good and certainly is child-centered.  Our children were raised with many attachment parenting principles in place and while we were not obsessive about it, we worked hard to use the concepts as we reared our children.

More on parenting styles:

• Different parenting styles between fathers and mothers
• Being a consistent and predictable father
• Ten common child discipline mistakes

Image courtesy of Pando Hall / Getty Images

Follow me on Twitter | Join my LinkedIn Group |Connect with me on Facebook

Every now and again I take the time to read a book that both entertains and makes me want to be better.  A.J. Jacobs has done it again for me with his latest book Drop Dead Healthy - One Man's Humble Quest for Bodily Perfection.

If you haven't read A.J. Jacobs' other books then you are in for a real treat with this one.   His other books, The Know-It-All: One Man's Humble Quest to Become the Smartest Person in the World and The Year of Living Biblically: One Man's Humble Quest to Follow the Bible as Literally as Possible are written in a similar vein, chronicling his efforts to become perfect in intellectual and spiritual pursuits.  Drop Dead Healthy takes the same approach to trying to attain perfection in his personal health.

If you are looking for a great summer read, Drop Dead Healthy should be on your list.   You can read my summary and review, and then get this book on your list to read soon.  You will love his writing style, his adventures in learning and living healthier, and you will find yourself laughing out loud as he encounters others and develops his own sense of perfect health and wellness as a man, a husband and a father.

Follow me on Twitter | Join my LinkedIn Group |Connect with me on Facebook

I love seeing entrepreneurs embracing the need to help families with some of their toughest tasks.  Folks who have created online calendars, iPhone apps, allowance programs and more can bring important tools to families.

The latest tech-based tool for families to teach financial responsibility is Tykoon.com.  I love the concept here.  In essence, parents can set up chores, responsibilities or behaviors that they would like to reward and post them on Tykoon.  As their kids accomplish something that has a reward established (financial or otherwise), the login and record their accomplishment.  When financial rewards are attached to the behavior, the child builds an account from which he can save, spend or give to charitable causes.

Tykoon is incredibly easy to use and they have built lots of security protections into the program.  Parents can access Tykoon at the family computer, with a mobile app or anywhere via web browser.  And kids can watch their savings grow and save for things they want to get or for supporting a variety of charitable causes.

So check out Tykoon and see if it can help you and your family learn more about being responsible stewards of your resources.

More on teaching financial responsibility at home:

• Getting out of debt in your family
• Finding money for college
• Top 7 financial habits for fathers and families

Follow me on Twitter | Join my LinkedIn Group |Connect with me on Facebook

One of the important skills I learned early in my parenting years was the skill of active listening.  I will be the first to admit I don't do it as well or as often as I should.  I tend to be easily distracted and my efforts at multitasking often leave me trying to focus in too many areas at once than I should.

But taking the time and paying attention to whomever is communicating with me at any given time is actually a big time saver.  If you fail to actively listen, you usually have to have the same conversation multiple times.  And it helps you come to appreciate the other person even more when you take the time to listen and to communicate the value that the person has to you.

So, take a look at my primer on active listening and see if it can help you in your important role as a parent!

More on Family Communications:

• Talking to kids about sex
• Keys to effective family communication
• Dealing with crushes in your child's life

Follow me on Twitter | Join my LinkedIn Group |Connect with me on Facebook

Babysitters can be life savers, especially for single dads who find themselves needing an occasional night out, date, or having a late meeting at work.  Choosing the right babysitter is a big deal, but just as important, a single dad needs to know when it is time to make a change.  What are the warning signs for a single dad to know when his babysitter needs to be replaced?

There are some important warning signs that should make a single dad think twice about using the babysitter again when these signs pop up.

More helps for single dads:

• How to Adjust to Life as a Single Father
• Taming the Cooking Monster
• Raising a Daughter as a Single Dad

Follow me on Twitter | Join my LinkedIn Group | Connect with me on Facebook

Now that former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney is the presumptive Republican nominee for President of the United States, it is time to be thinking about what Governor Romney would do for fathers as President.  It is an interesting question because we know that he is a committed father of five sons and 16 grandchildren and that he and his wife Ann have been married for 46 years (a pretty good record of family life).  But his service as governor of Massachusetts as it relates to fathers' rights was not very distinguished.

But, given that situation, I did some research about Governor Romney's history and his stance on issues related to fathers and families.  And as time goes on and political platforms become clearer, I will update this profile and try to keep our readers up to date on the positions taken by both Governor Romney and President Obama as the November election draws closer.

Follow me on Twitter | Join my LinkedIn Group |Connect with me on Facebook

Every year, our friends at the National Fatherhood Initiative host the Military Fatherhood Award ceremony to honor an extraordinary father who is a member of the military.   Their judges have narrowed the list of more than 450 nominees to three finalists.  They are:

• Senior Airman Jonathan Jackson, U.S. Air Force
• First Lieutenant William Edwards, U.S. Army
• Lieutenant Dennis Kelly, U.S. Navy

Each of them have an amazing story, and I suspect that the voting will be close this year.  You can see their stories and then vote for your favorite on the  National Fatherhood Initiative's Facebook page.  You can vote daily though May 20, so feel free to head over there often to choose your favorite!

Follow me on Twitter | Join my LinkedIn Group |Connect with me on Facebook

Meetings seem to be an enormous time waster at work, taking time away from more productive activities and from your family.  Learn techniques for making meetings more efficient, thus helping create more time for more important things like work-life balance.

More Work-Life Balance Tips:

• Signs that Your Work-Life Balance is Out of Balance
• Recovering from Workaholism
• Family Friendly Workplaces for Fathers

Follow me on Twitter | Join my LinkedIn Group | Connect with me on Facebook